I feel like I have emerged out of a filing cabinet that I have been living in all my life; it has been dark, scary and musty.
Left in the attic, this metal beast stands. I would creep out now and again, but so much of my past stuck to me that it was difficult, near impossible, to leave. Bills and bank statements surround me – this is all I see. I owe money and time to everyone else. I don’t know who I am.
So I crawl back into my comfort zone, the place I have called home for too long. The cold, unfeeling, filing cabinet. When it called me, I obeyed.
This was the only place I knew and I have dwelt in it so long. I didn’t know how to get out and live. The stories I shared were always so deep, so dark and very painful. Choices that I was influenced to make, led me to an awful life. I was so stuck.
I so wanted to live free and happy. I don’t want this 10% life. I want 100%. I want to live life to the full.
Healing has started to come, as I begin to journal, begin to reach out. I am learning to live in freedom, love, joy and peace. I now only use the filing cabinet as storage, if I need a story. I will go and fetch it from the cabinet, not climb in and make my home there. Simple – use the file and replace it where it belongs – IN THE PAST!
Today I feel so excited and free. Jesus has done a huge work in me. I am full, content, with so much love, joy and peace; even in the messy bits of life. I am managing every day so well and I am proud of myself. I am learning how to be me. No planning or working out could have saved me; Jesus has put me together in an awesome way, brought the most amazing people into my life. WOW! From homeless to happy in two years – God you are so good to me!
People think that being a Christian is boring, NO WAY! It is the most exciting life ever!